100+ Dirty & Funny Pickup Lines

  • Did you fart? cuz you blew me away.
  • Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special.
  • My Love, you’re you is like diarrhea. I can’t hold it in.
  • Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see myself in em.
  • If you n I were Squirrels, I’d store my nuts in yer hole.
  • You might not be the best-looking girl here, but beauty’s only a light switch away.
  • Man – “Fat Penguin!” Woman – “WHAT?” Man – “I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.”
  • I know I’m not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

 

  • If yer gonna regret this in the morning, we kin sleep til afternoon.
  • Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.
  • If there was a party in your mouth I’d be the first person to come
  • How about you sit on my lap and we can talk about the first thing that pops up
  • Let’s play titanic when I say iceberg you go down
  • If I was a watermelon would you spit my seed?
  • The only reason I would kick you out of the bed is to fcuk you on the floor
  • I would call Heaven and tell them an angel was missing, but I’m kinda hoping you’re a slut!
    • I’m like Domino’s Pizza. If I don’t cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
    • Wanna Job? It Blows!
    • My dick just died, can I bury it in your vagina?
    • Hi, I’m a burglar… and I’m gonna smash your back door in!
    • You can call me “The Fireman”….mainly because I turn the shoes on!
    • I’m a zombie, can I eat you out?
    • I wish you were soap so I could feel you all over me.
    • I’m a businessman. I work in orifices, got any openings?
    • I’m going to have s*x with you later, so you might as well be there!
    • Some men go around telling women they have an eight-inch p*nis; I’d never shortchange myself like that!
    • The last woman I was with said, “Kiss me where it stinks.” So, I drove her to New Jersey.
    • Can I park my car in your garage? It’s pretty big, but it doesn’t leak.
    • I have a tongue like an anteater; want to go to the zoo?
    • I’m not a d*ck in real life, but I’ll play one in your v*gina tonight!
    • Your a*s is pretty tight, want me to loosen it up?
    • Looks don’t matter, I’ll just wrap you in a flag and fcuk you for glory.
    • Hey, is that a keg in your pants? Cause I’d sure love to tap THAT a*s!
    • I would tell you a joke about my p*nis….buts its too long