Sex first starts in the thoughts of mine. In fact, our minds are the most powerful sexual organ. Your mood and state of mindset set the tone for your sexual experience. One of the best ways to become a great alpha male is to develop the mindset of a great lover.
When you act from that mindset it will be felt through your physical actions and your body language and you will start being a great lover.
But first, let’s look at the typical male mindset when it comes to sex. When men talk about sex, they tend to say things like…
- I got lucky!
- I got some!
- She gave me some.
- She was just a wild.
- We had sex the first night; she was a slut.
Many men also put up with disrespect, flakiness, and bad behavior from women and still want to have sex with them, because they feel they are getting
something from her. Now let’s look at the mindset of a great lover. A great lover knows that he is exceptional in bed and that he has the ability to bring women incredible pleasure when he has sex with them. He knows that his skills are rare, and it makes him more valuable. He also looks at sex differently. He does not look at it in terms of taking or getting anything from a woman but in terms of giving an incredible gift of himself, and of pleasure to her. Because of this viewpoint, he does not give this gift to women who disrespect him or do not value him or his time. After all, why would you want to give a gift of incredible pleasure to someone who was inconsiderate with you, or disrespected you and made you feel bad?
- He is giving her a gift of amazing pleasure that most men can’t give her, so in reality she is the lucky one.
- Whether the sex occurred with a one night stand or in an ongoing relationship, it was a mutually beneficial experience where both people shared themselves and brought pleasure to each other.
- If a woman in not willing, there are always other women that will be more than happy to give themselves to him, and receive his gift of pleasure.
- Women are very sexual beings and he allows them to express themselves without him without judging or labeling them as sluts, just because they had sex with him quickly. He may call her a slut (if it turns her on and she want to play the “dirty girl”) but in reality, he respects her as a sexual being.
- Every woman is different. What some women think is disgusting, others find a huge turn on. What some women find painful, other find intensely ecstatic and pleasurable.
- The goal of sex is a pleasure and the experience of being with that person. Not getting off, or orgasm. The goal is the actual experience itself.
- There is a time and place for a whole spectrum of sexual experience, from mad, passionate, animalistic fucking to soft tender lovemaking and everything in between. A fulfilling sex life with your partner is about being able to experience all of that spectrum.
To sum up The Mindset of a Great Lover:
- In this mindset, your only goal is to please your lover and hers is to please you.
- In this mindset your orgasm in not a priority. You are not here to get off but to experience.
- You feel complete appreciation and respect for your partner and her sexual desires. No matter if she wants you to be soft and loving, or if she wants you to treat her like a dirty little whore, you appreciate that she is sharing her sexual desires with you.
- You savor the feel of her skin, the scent of her hair, the way she tastes, the way she looks.
- You are inspired by her.
Some ways to shift into this mode of thinking:
- Slow way down during foreplay and sex. You’re not in a hurry. Enjoy it and make it last.
- Have extended foreplay—really touch and stroke every inch of her body.
- Buy a book on sensual massage, and learn to give your lover a full body massage before you have sex. Have her do the same for you.
- Take a very warm bath together, put on some slow relaxing music and candles, and wash each other’s bodies. Women love this!
- When you touch her, really feel her skin with yours.
- There is no score to keep, no “I nailed her,” “I got off,” “I got her off”…you are there only to share a beautiful experience with each other, and to please each other. Remove your ego from the experience. Don’t try to
- be a great lover; just let it flow and be one with the experience.
- Take your time and don’t rush, play with each other, have fun. Don’t be too serious.
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