100+ Dirty & Funny Pickup Lines

  • Did you fart? cuz you blew me away.
  • Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special.
  • My Love, you’re you is like diarrhea. I can’t hold it in.
  • Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see myself in em.
  • If you n I were Squirrels, I’d store my nuts in yer hole.
  • You might not be the best-looking girl here, but beauty’s only a light switch away.
  • Man – “Fat Penguin!” Woman – “WHAT?” Man – “I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.”
  • I know I’m not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.


  • If yer gonna regret this in the morning, we kin sleep til afternoon.
  • Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.
  • If there was a party in your mouth I’d be the first person to come
  • How about you sit on my lap and we can talk about the first thing that pops up
  • Let’s play titanic when I say iceberg you go down
  • If I was a watermelon would you spit my seed?
  • The only reason I would kick you out of the bed is to fcuk you on the floor
  • I would call Heaven and tell them an angel was missing, but I’m kinda hoping you’re a slut!
100+ Dirty & Funny Pickup Lines

100+ Dirty & Funny Pickup Lines

    • I’m like Domino’s Pizza. If I don’t cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
    • Wanna Job? It Blows!
    • My dick just died, can I bury it in your vagina?
    • Hi, I’m a burglar… and I’m gonna smash your back door in!
    • You can call me “The Fireman”….mainly because I turn the shoes on!
    • I’m a zombie, can I eat you out?
    • I wish you were soap so I could feel you all over me.
    • I’m a businessman. I work in orifices, got any openings?
    • I’m going to have s*x with you later, so you might as well be there!
    • Some men go around telling women they have an eight-inch p*nis; I’d never shortchange myself like that!
    • The last woman I was with said, “Kiss me where it stinks.” So, I drove her to New Jersey.
    • Can I park my car in your garage? It’s pretty big, but it doesn’t leak.
    • I have a tongue like an anteater; want to go to the zoo?
    • I’m not a d*ck in real life, but I’ll play one in your v*gina tonight!
    • Your a*s is pretty tight, want me to loosen it up?
    • Looks don’t matter, I’ll just wrap you in a flag and fcuk you for glory.
    • Hey, is that a keg in your pants? Cause I’d sure love to tap THAT a*s!
    • I would tell you a joke about my p*nis….buts its too long 😉
  • My magical watch says you’re not wearing any p*nties…oh, you are? Damn, it must be an hour fast…
  • “I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I, at least, have the box it came in?
  • ” I’m a Gemini. What’s your sign – Fire Down Below?
  • We should play strip poker. You can strip, and I’ll poke you.
  • I’ve got a big one, you wanna see how hard it works?
  • Hey baby, what’s your sign? Caution, Slippery When Wet, Dangerous Curves ahead, Yield?
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, we’re having s*x, cause I’m stronger than you
  • My cat’s dead, can I play with your p*ssy instead?
  • Hey baby, I’m kind of cold, Can I use your thighs as earmuffs?
  • If I was a robot and you were one too, If I lost a bolt would you give me a screw?
  • The names D*ck, can I put it in you?

READ MORE – 100 Amazing Pick-Up Lines Of All Time

  • Yeah. I’m an a*shole, but will that stop me from getting in yours?
  • I think my allergies are acting up. Cuz every time your around my d*ck swells up.
  • Walk up to a female and look at her crotch then look at her face back to crotch to face and say “Are you gonna eat that?”
  • Baby, I want to wear you like a pair of sunglasses, one leg over each ear.
  • Hey! tell your ni*ples to stop staring at my eyes.
  • Those bo*bs look very heavy… can I hold them for you?
  • Let’s play circus, first sit on my face I’ll guess ur weight and Let’s eat the difference
  • How about you get on your knees and smile like a donut!
  • That dress would look great on my bedroom floor!
  • You are so selfish! You’re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
  • I’ve just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.
  • Come here or my d*ck will start CUMING for you!
  • What’s the biggest moving muscle in a women’s body makes My cock!
  • I’m bigger and better than the Titanic … only 200 women went down on the Titanic
  • Lets play house…you can be the door so I can slam you all I want!
  • The word for tonight is “legs.” Let’s go back to my place and spread the word?
  • Do you handle chickens because you look like you’d be good with c*cks
  • Do you have rubbers at your house or should I pull out?
  • I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bedrock!
  • First, I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I’ll move up to your belly button.
  • Baby!! My love for you is like Diarrhea. It just keeps coming out
  • Lie down on that couch and pretend your legs hate each other.
  • Having s*x is a lot like golf. I’m always happy when I get a hole in one.
  • Your pants remind me of Vegas…. The kinda place I go to blow my Wad.
  • How much do your clothes cost? (Woman says “Why do you want to know?”) Cause I`ll need to know how much to pay you back after I rip them off.!
  • Wanna make like scarface and say hello to my little friend
  • Your br*asts remind me of Mount Rushmore….my face should be among them.
  • Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I’ll throw you my meat.
  • As long as you need a place to sit, you’ll always have my face.
  • Beauty is only skin deep; a huge c*ck goes much deeper.
  • Do you cum here, often?
  • Wanna do something that rhymes with truck?
  • Do you know the difference between my p*nis and a chicken wing? No? Well, let’s go on a picnic and find out!
  • My d*ck just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
  • Guess what?! I’ve got an 8″ tongue and I can breath out of my ears!
  • Do you have a boyfriend? (Yes) Do you mess around? (No) Would you hold still while I do?
  • Have you ever bought a vibrator? (No.) Do you want to rent one?
  • “Are you cold? Would you like a jacket? Because you can jack it when we get back to my place”
  • You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can br*astfeed by you until I’m 5.
  • Since we shouldn’t waste things in this bad economy, what you say we use these co*doms in my pocket before they expire.
  • “Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?” (pull your pockets inside out) “Would you like to?”
  • Let’s go to my place and do some math add a bed subtracts our clothes divide your legs and multiply
  • Hey! Wanna play war? I lay on the floor and you blow the fcuk out of me!
  • If we were both squirrels would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
  • “I’m against animal cruelty, so don’t hurt my monkey, please stroke it gently”
  • “Wanna take a shower with me to conserve water?”
  • “When I see you, sea levels aren’t the only thing rising…”
  • “Your so hot you must’ve started all of the global warmings”
  • “Turning off your Engine, gets my motor humming”
  • “I don’t drive a car, but I’d love to walk you home!”
  •  ”Turning off the Lights, is one of my Turn On’s”
  • “I bet your Dad is an Environmentalist because you are so eco-friendly”
  • “You eyes are as bright as energy saving halogen light bulbs, would you light up my life?”
  • Screw the nice list, I’ve got you on my “nice and naughty list!
  • That’s not a candy cane in my pocket. I’m just glad to see you!

Some more pickup lines

100+ Cheesy & Corny Pickup Lines

100+ Dirty & Funny Pickup Lines

100+ Cute and Romantic Pickup Lines

Marshal Rose

Marshal is a dating coach for over 12 years. His passion is helping great guys become confident, social, and successful with women.

There Are 7 Comments On This Article.

  1. Johnny Cassell

    Marshals posts are always unique and pick up lines do work, but we’ve noticed a lot of other sites are copying and wre writting mr Desai’s articles , keep up the good work from all.

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